Sunday, April 25, 2010

NotD – Malcolm (or: The Gryffindor Chainsaw Massacre)

This is another manicure that I hate, despise and detest with a passion mildly dislike. Therefore I declare it to be an Epic Fail.

I had been planning to attempt a gradated manicure using sponges for some time and though I didn’t expect my first try to be perfect I certainly didn’t expect it to be that horrific. I happened to chat with my bestie while I finished this manicure and she’s partially to blame for the title, as she was the one to bring Gryffindor into this.

Let’s start with a quick review of the base colour:

I applied my usual base colour combination of OPI Nail Envy (two coats), essence color&go 23 sundancer (three coats) and a coat of Seche Vite.

I really like the colour of sundancer, it’s darkish yellow creme that I would describe a yolky if I hadn’t see so many differently coloured yolks. It’s a warm hue, applies well and is mostly opaque in two coats, though from certain angles the nail line is still visible. I have no complaints about this polish. :-)

This is sundancer in two coats without top coat:

And ere is sundancer in three coats with Seche Vite:


This is what I used for the disastrous nail art:

  • s-he 457
  • essence show your feet 06 juicy orange
  • Maybelline Colorama 15 candy apple
  • Maybelline Colorama glossy nail color 17 redcurrant jelly
  • Spooky Nails 2 in 1 nail tattoo liner black
  • essence french manicure pen
  • LOOK by BIPA nail tattoo liner 1 silver
  • Sally Hansen Diamond Shine

I started by dabbing s-he 457 on eighty percent of each nail. Then I repeated the process with juicy orange, candy apple and redcurrant jelly, always applying the next colour to (very roughly) twenty percent less of the nail.

Well, that sucks, doesn’t it? I tried to smooth it out a bit by going over the gradation once again with juicy orange and sundancer. It did work a bit, but I still looked like I just gutted a squirrel with my nails.

After aforementioned conversation with my best friend, which included me writing “this looks like a Gryffindor Chainsaw Massacre, after all,” I couldn’t get the Arrogant Worms song “Malcolm” out of my head. If you don’t know it: check it out, you can listen to it at the link I provided (actually, listen to other stuff, too, they’re awesome). So I decided to quickly add a little stylized chainsaw, using the three nail art liners and pens.

Ew. But hey, at least Hermann Nitsch would like this manicure (if I had used real blood ‘n’ guts).

The real question is: should I repaint my nails tonight or should I leave the manicure on and wear it for lunch with my parents and when I go to our presidential election?

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